Spring Training…in the Fall

in·struc·tion – noun – 1. the act or practice of instructing or teaching; education.

 Today was a first for me.  So far in my baseball broadcasting career the terms ‘Instructional League’ (hereon known as ‘instructs’) had just been this idea.  Where do you go after the season? Instructional League?  What’sthat?  As Peter Griffin once demonstrated, it’s like stumbling into the Beyond section at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  The casual fan knows what it is, but they couldn’t tell you if you asked.

So today I wandered out to the backfields at Pirate City to check Instructs out.  Quite frankly, it’s pretty much exactly like Spring Training, but in the fall.  Fall Training might be a better way of putting it.  Three of the four PC fields had activity on them, with one hosting live BP sessions, the second hosting batting practice, and an inter-squad scrimmage on the third.  I spent most of my time checking out the scrimmage, but glanced over to the live BP’s now and then.

• Live BP, by the way, is when hitters take batting practice off a pitcher instead of a coach.  Instead of seeing 60mph fastballs they see whatever that pitcher has in his arsenal – it’s pretty much like a real game without fielders, baserunners, runs, outs or peanuts.  There are also no innings, when the pitcher’s done, it’s over.

As for the game, a handful of current, former and future Marauders were on hand.  Jameson Taillon started for the road team.  You would have to presume the 2010 No. 2 overall pick is destined for Bradenton at some point in 2012, having spent all of this season in Low-A West Virginia.  Anyway, this was the first time I’d ever seen Taillon.  The kid gets a lot of hype for his live fastball, but man his curveball is insane.  He struck out the first two batters he faced, dropping a hook right off the edge of the table and in on the hands for K No. 1.   It looked like the thing didn’t even start to break until it reached the plate.  The success was short lived, however, with 2011 Florida State League batting champion Ramon Cabrera taking Tallion deep to right as the game’s third batter.

Some other news and notes:

• Former Marauders catcher Eric Fryer, who made his MLB debut this summer with the Pirates, is in instructs and played third today.
• Former Marauders 1B Calvin Anderson, who spent all of 2011 as a DH, seeing not one out in the field, is back at 1B.  He was working on converting to the OF this past season.
• Second baseman Gift Ngoepe is fast, ranging almost behind first base to get to a ball.  He could potentially play for Bradenton next season after starting in West Virginia before getting hurt.
• Bengie Gonzalez made the nicest play I’ve seen from him all year.  The shortstop made a diving catch to snare a
  line drive off the bat of Wes Freeman.
• South Atlantic League all-star Daniel Grovatt had the hilarious moment of the day.  The outfielder, and owner of Kelson Brown’s 1982(?) Volkswagen Golf, was drilled by a pitch, but stayed in the box to finish his at-bat.  He took the next pitch for ball three and walked.  Doing the math on his way to first, Grovatt returned to home plate to finish his at-bat again.  It was an expensive choice, with Grovatt breaking his bat on a bloop double one pitch later.  Quincy Latimore drove him in with a single up the middle.
• Marauders righty Jeff Inman threw a perfect inning
• India native Rinku Singh pitched an inning – the first time I’ve seen the lefty throw.  He walked a batter, that’s all.

We can cross Instructs off the bucket list.

Till next time,

Joel

From the Archives: Keith Olbermann’s……Spring Training Interview

So back in Spring Training we received an interesting visitor in the press box at McKechnie Field.  I’m probably revealing too much about my political leanings here, but I was pretty geeked when I was told Keith Olbermann was in town.  The former SportsCenter and MSNBC anchor is an avid baseball fan and maintains his own MLBlog just like this one…but, you know, better and more well-informed.   Inevitably I figured I’d approach Keith and see if we might be able to get him to interview for us on M’sTV and BradentonMarauders.com.  We also gave him a Marauders hat.  I believe he was a size eight.  Anyway we got the interview…and then we didn’t.  We weren’t able to post it until June (keeping in mind this was something like March 15th).  So the video sat on my desktop…and sat…and sat…and now it’s September 15th and Keith will give you his sleeper fantasy baseball pics with two weeks left in the MLB season.  The interview is below.  In retrospect, Brandon Gomes did go on to have a decent season.  That will make sense after you watch.

Till next time,

Joel

Agent 99? Missed it By That Much…Marauders Get Smart

Well the collective IQ of the Bradenton Marauders just shot through the roof today.  That’s not to say anything bad about any of the current Marauders, it just speaks volumes about the newest member of the team.  Ross Ohlendorf has officially been assigned to the Marauders on MLB rehab.  He’s been sidelined since April with an ailing shoulder.  If you’ve never read about the hurler here’s a little history on him.

How crazy is that story?  The guy writes his senior thesis on rate of return of the MLB draft.  Where is Bill James’ book on that?  I mean shouldn’t more people know about this 126-page masterpiece?  I feel like this is a study that should be more often referenced.  Like shouldn’t this guy be a GM of a team with this thinking?  Can you imagine the smack this guy can talk.  Hey (insert Player X), you know you’re rate of return was 30% below the league average.  You’re wasting your team’s money!  Why don’t you try to hit this next pitch, oh, sorry, just struck you out.”

I believe it was 2009 when the Sporting News came out with its list of the smartest athletes in sports.  After reading Tim Kurkjian’s article linked above, I’m not sure why Ohlendorf is only third on TSN’s rankings.  The only two athletes ahead of him are former Florida State football player Myron Rolle, a Rhode’s Scholar, and Oakland A’s reliever Craig Breslow, my cousin.  Now while being my cousin seems enough to put Breslow at the top of the list, he also graduated from Yale with a degree in molecular biophysics and scored an 34 on his MCAT’s.  I’m told by my medical friends that is good.  I’m told by statistics, it’s obscene.  On a side note, Craig also runs the Strike3Foundation.  You can check it out here.  But anyway, Ohlendorf checks in third.  Here’s his profile from the story:

• Age: 28
• On-field accomplishments: Was the only Pirates starter with a winning record (11-10 with a 3.92 ERA) in 2009, his first full major league season. On September 5, 2009, became the 40th pitcher to strike out three batters on nine pitches.
• Alma mater, major, GPA: Princeton, operations research and financial engineering, 3.8
• SAT score: 1520
• Off-field/intellectual interests: He worked as a volunteer intern in the U.S. Department of Agriculture last offseason. In addition to having worked on a cost-benefit analysis of a program that traces disease in livestock and its effect on farmers, he helps his father manage the family’s herd of longhorns near, of course, Austin, Texas. “Ranching,” he says, “is pretty much all I do in the offseason.”
• What I’m reading now: “The Nine Tailors, by Dorothy L. Sayers.”
• If I weren’t a professional athlete, I’d … “(Do) something in business or finance.”
• Nerdiest thing about me: “I read on the day I pitch.”
• Smartest teammate I’ve had: “Pirates outfielder Andrew McCutchen.”

I’d also like to point out that, among the top 20 smartest athletes, Brian Bannister checks in with a fine arts degree from USC, Georgia Tech center Sean Bedford took the SAT’s in 7th grade and got an 1100, and San Jose Sharks defender Sean Murray majored in hotel management at Cornell.  I have to imagine the last one went over well at parties.  “Nice to meet you, I’m Joanie, I’m majoring in molecular biophysical statistics and its relation to the calculus of the universe’s agriculture.  What about you? …”  I will say this, the guy probably runs the best damn hotel in the business.  They probably have free wifi and breakfast is included.  Isn’t that the worst, when breakfast isn’t included?  I feel like the more money the room is the less breakfast I get…and I have to pay for internet.  It just doesn’t make sense…sorry, that’s for another blog.

So Princeton.  Believe it or not, Princeton baseball has actually turned out its fair share of baseball players.  The school has three MLB players right now, which, believe it or not is more than my alma mater of Syracuse.  Granted, Syracuse has no baseball team, but still.  Mets pitcher Chris Young, Padres outfielder Will Venable and Ohlendorf are all Tigers.

Lets end on this note.  Above in the excerpt from The Sporting News, Ohlendorf says the nerdiest thing about him is that he reads on the day he pitches, which I guess is to say, “I read before I go to work.”  Just sit back and process the fact that reading before work is today considered nerdy.  While you do that I’m going to go play Nintendo.

Till next time,

Joel

I Love Rehabers…So Put Another Dime in the Jukebox Baby?

Pedro Alvarez sporting the Independence Weekend uniforms

Having Major League rehabbers in town means one thing: awesome postgame spreads.  Well alright, it usually means some other things too, like a ringer in the middle of the lineup, some added expertise around the clubhouse and reunions of old friends.  And it also means killer postgame spreads…the rehabbers usually buy for the younger guys.  I guess it’s kind of like a rite of passage – ‘you don’t get to leave until you buy us food’ – or it’s just guys who have made it being nice to their hosts.  Yeah, it’s probably the latter.

The Marauders have actually faired very nicely with Major League rehab assignments over the last year and a half.  Pedro Alvarez is in town right now.  Chris Snyder launched his candidacy for the Republican nomination for President, I mean Florida State League MVP (sorry, it’s that time of year) back in April.  Joel Hanrahan has also shown his face.  Steve Pearce, Jose Ascanio and Joe Beimel have been around as well.  Heck, even minor league rehab guys like Donnie Veal and Brian Friday have played well with Bradenton.  They’ve also seen their fair share of opponent rehabs, facing the veritable pantheon of Joe Mauer, Hanley Ramirez, Chase Utley, Kevin Slowey, Angel Pagan, Grant Balfour, Antonio Bastardo and so on.

On a side note, Derek Jeter (in the most highly anticipated rehab start of all-time…seriously has any semi-mildly injured player made more news in one week than Derek Jeter?) is playing against the Altoona Curve on rehab this weekend.  Much of the Curve roster is made up of former Marauders.

Anyway, back to the Marauders.  Having big leaguers around is fun for a couple of reasons.

1 – Food.  We’ve discussed this.

2 – They’re really, really good.  When you watch Pedro Alvarez take batting practice it’s just amazing.  Almost every ball is impacted with incredible force.  He drives stuff all over the field and most of the time it’s just brutalized.  I turned to pitching coach Mike Steele yesterday and asked how it’s possible for him to make such incredible contact every time.  The answer was simple: “He’s really talented.”  It’s fun most of all though to watch reactions, especially Jarek Cunningham.  Usually a character around the cage, Cunny’s jaw dropped every so often.  His regular screams of astonishment at other teammate’s hits just turned into silent stares for Alvarez.  UPDATE:  Cunningham was yelling sarcastic WOW’s again on Saturday.

Pedro alvarez has played all week on rehab for a quad injury

3 – They’re really, really good (Part II).  Sometimes rehab appearances aren’t statistically stellar.  Guys aren’t necessarily here to get outs or hit homers.  They’re here to test their elbow, or leg, or arm, or oblique.  They want to see live pitching again after having been on the side for an extended period of time.  Sure they may strike out or give up some runs, but for the most part, their goal is the be healthy.  So enter Alvarez and Joe Beimel, who started Friday on rehab.  Beimel’s stated goal was just to throw strikes.  He told me pregame strikes would make him happy.  It just so happen he threw a lot of them.  In one inning Beimel K’d two batters and none of the three to face him had a chance.  It was like a carnival game.  “Step right up and see the bearded lady!  This man will guess your weight exactly!  Three tickets to try to hit of the Major League pitcher!”  I remember back in the spring when Beimel was on his first rehab stint.  Phil Irwin called what Beimel threw “Invisiballs.”  That makes the whole see-ball-hit-ball mantra kind of difficult.  So yeah, even when all the guy wants to do it throw strikes, he still is pretty awesome.

4 – They’re really, really good (Part III).  I’ve never seen anybody take strikes in batting practice.  Well, check that.  I’ve only ever seen one person take strikes in batting practice.  Pedro Alvarez has that good a plan at the plate and he executes it.  Elevys Gonzalez noted that when he joined us on the pregame show Wednesday.  They guy is just selective, but not in a bad way, because when he gets his pitch he doesn’t miss it.  

5 – They’re fun.  You might think that Big Leaguers would, well be ‘Big League’ – that maybe they would just sit off in the corner and not want to be bothered.  It’s quite the contrary actually.  Alvarez has been just one of the guys.  His first day in town was a rainy Tuesday.  While the guys stood around in the clubhouse and waited out the pregame rain, Alvarez was right there with them tossing around a football.  At batting practice on Saturday he was the life of the party in group two, chiding Jarek Cunningham about hitting homeruns to the opposite field.  (The joke is that Jarek likes to pull the ball.  Pedro had hit an opposite field homerun on Friday and wanted Cunningham to follow suit in BP).  Cunningham didn’t go to the opposite field and then, when challenged back by Cunningham, neither did Pedro.  He did, though, launch a ball off the batter’s eye in center.  That will do I guess.

6 – The off the field stories.  If you’re a frequent listener to our broadcasts you might remember when Steve Pearce was in town rehabbing.  It was then that we discovered he and Quincy Latimore were bowling partners.  I know, right?  Then in Jupiter the Marauders played against a rehabbing Hanley Ramirez.  It was then we learned that Ramirez and Marauders catcher Carlos Paulino go way back.  It turns out Pauly and Hanley played, at different times, for the same manager in winter ball back home in the Dominican.  Through that connection Ramirez took Paulino under his wing as a younger Marlins farmhand (Carlos was acquired in a trade by the Pirates this year).  Before Paulino had an agent, it was Ramirez that supplied him with any needed equipment.  The Bradenton catcher recalled one time when Ramirez sent him 20 bats.  Paulino, only needing five, sent the rest back home to people in the DR.

Well with Pedro Alvarez in town he again unearthed a neat offbeat storyline.  See both Cunningham and Alvarez were in the Pirates 2008 draft class.  That means they turned pro together, went through their first instructional league together and have been linked a bit by that experience.  Turns out the two have a similar sense of fashion and have been shopping buddies in the past.  I figured I might be able to find the duo at Hollister, A+E, Abercrombie, etc, but Cunningham actually says Nordstrom is the regular haunt.  Really?  I was actually leaning toward Lord and Taylor.

With Alvarez’s assignment likely nearing a close in the close future, things will soon return to normal on the Marauders roster.  But with guys like Evan Meek and Ross Ohlendorf, Ryan Doumint etc still on the mend for the Pittsburgh Pirates, who knows what added flavor the Marauders future may hold.

Till next time…

Joel

Warm Up the Bus…Warm Up the Bus

Calvin Anderson had never hit below the Mendoza Line in his baseball career.  We’re not just talking about pro ball, by the way.  We’re talking about baseball.  Calvin will tell you he’s never hit below .200.  Not in college or high school, summer ball, Little League, pee wee ball or sandlot fun.  Now that stats are sort of sketchy in the pee wee baseball world, but we’ll take his word for it. 

Now is that really much of a surprise?  Not really, no.  We’re talking about a professional baseball player.  This is a guy that’s always been the best at every level at which he’s played.  And let’s be honest, he’s from the state of Washington…not exactly a baseball powerhouse.  He’s only the second pro player out of his high school, Seattle Prep.  The only other guy was Ryan Riley, who made it to class A-Advanced with Tampa Bay in 2005.

So imagine the culture shock for Anderson when he began the season hitting .191 through 12 games.  Come May 5th, he was still only batting .195.  Not just that, but the strikeouts were piling up; 20 in a span of eight games to begin the month of May.  A guy who batted fourth in the lineup, and only fourth, his first professional season, Anderson found himself dropped to eighth in the Marauders lineup.  As they might say in a Disney movie, it was a dark time.

Calvin Anderson has worked hard to regain and grow beyond last season's form

Then rolled around May 20th.  Calvin went 0-3 with three strikeouts.  Enough.  Bradenton hit the road for an eight game trip in Lakeland and Daytona.  The team would limp to a 1-7 record, but Anderson would catch fire.  I actually started talking to a scout the first day of the series.  He told me he really liked Anderson and that he has 80 raw power (scouts grade players on a 20-80 scale, with 80 meaning there is no better…Albert Pujols has 80 power).  There was a hitch to that evaluation though.  As much power as Anderson had, it wasn’t usable.  Power does you no good if you don’t make contact and that’s something Anderson wasn’t doing.  And thusly the beast within awoke.

It’s May 22nd at Joker Marchant Stadium in Lakeland and Anderson is penciled in eighth in the batting order.  He grounds out in the second and walks in the fifth.  That sets him up for a homerun, his sixth of the year in the seventh and a line drive double in the ninth.  Hitting coach Ryan Long called the double the hardest ball he’s ever seen hit.  The thing thudded into the wall on the fly.  And fly is a generous term considering the ball never got higher than 10 feet of the ground.  Honestly, if they Army weaponized the thing, the War on Terror would soon be over.

It’s now day two in Lakeland.  Anderson doesn’t homer.  But he also doesn’t strike out.  He goes 0-3 with a wlak.  Day three he goes a mild 4-5, a triple shy of the cycle with a homerun that cleared the leftfield berm, picnic pagodas and sidewalk.  It was gone from sight.  The next day he doubles.  You get where this is going.  In Daytona for the next series, Anderson finds himself batting fourth.

Since going 0-3 on May 20th and watching his season average drop to a low of .178, Anderson has turned into one of the best players in both Minor and Major League Baseball.  From May 21st through June 20th, Anderson had the second best average in the Florida State League.  His .357 clip is just short of St. Lucie’s Juan Lagares, hitting .389.  His 17 extra base hits are tie for the league lead, his seven homers third, his 19 RBI eighth and his 23 strikeouts put him all the way down at 17th.

Anderson is also riding a 10 game hitting streak, two shy of a team record set last year by Calvin and Brock Holt and this year by Ramon Cabrera.  During the first nine games of the run, Anderson batted .486, the sixth best average in all of baseball, and ironically second best in the Florida State League. 

1 – Logan Watkins, Daytona, .571

2 – Alcides Escobar, Kansas City, .543

3 – Ricardo Nanita, New Hampshire, .519

4 – Travis Snider, Las Vegas, .519

5 – Wily Mo Pena, Reno, .500 (promoted to Arizona this week)

6 – Calvin Anderson, .486

Now, look deeper into those statistics.  First off, three of the five guys ahead of Calvin have Major League service time and one of them, Pena, isn’t human.  I mean, have you met Wily Mo Pena?  He’s enormous.  He what you get if like King Kong and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man produced offspring.  Aside: I actually know Wily Mo from when I broadcast in Buffalo.  He is an enormous man but a really good dude.  

Anderson swings for the fences, or not the fences...he's thinking contact now

Two more stats to throw out at you….in that same span from post-May-20th, Anderson has gone from a strikeout every 2.14 at-bats to every 3.65 at-bats.  He’s also hit four homeruns to push his season total to a career high 12 (at the midway point of the season).  Only 10 players have hit more homeruns across baseball in that span and only one has more than five, Paul Konerko of the White Sox. 

So we can officially mark the day, May 20th as the line in the sand.  Everything before it goes down as BB and after is AB…Before Bus and After Bus.  If you’re new to Calvin Anderson, the Marauders faithful call him the ‘Bus’ for a homerun he hit off a bus last season.  Here in 2011, May 20th can be the line of when the true ‘Bus’ returned. 

But let’s look a little deeper still.  What’s the reason for the turnaround?  Well…

“Right now I’m not trying to hit homeruns,” Anderson said.  “I’m just trying to get base hits and the homeruns will come.  The small focus is just to make contact first.  Right now it’s a work in progress.”

Long talked to me about Alex Rodriguez earlier this week.  I don’t remember the exact math, but we broke down his statistics.  Last year, A-Rod had (minus the RBI you get for driving in yourself) about the same number of RBI on singles and homers.  The point there is that you don’t have to hit homeruns to score runs.  All you need to do is make contact.  Think line drive and let everything else come and grow from there.

“I’m just looking for the pitch and not thinking about how the pitcher wants to pitch me,” Anderson said.  “That’s enabled me to stay on the ball and see the ball out of the pitcher’s hand.  Early in the year I was thinking too much about how they want to throw to me and I was thinking slider and getting it but already swinging because I was swinging because it was a slider and I knew I was getting it, but it was a ball.”

So here’s to the Bus.  He’s back.

Don’t Talk With Your Mouth Full…My Chat with Joe Mauer

Disclaimer:  This blog is dedicated to Minnesota Twins manager Ron Gardenhire.  The interviews in this blog were conducted back in Spring Training and are written down now that Joe Mauer is on MLB rehab in the Florida State League.  Well, that and the fact that the Marauders are playing Mauer and the Fort Myers Miracle this weekend.  So here’s the story…

When the Twins came to Bradenton is was near the end of Spring Training and Joe Mauer was making his first roadtrip.  About an hour and a half prior to first pitch I meandered down to the Twinkies clubhouse to talk to Mauer about his time in the FSL.  It was for our series on big leaguers that had been in the league.  Lucky for me Joe was at one of the first lockers when you walk in so I didn’t have to go searching around in foreign territory.  As I walked up to him he had finished a sandwich a was opening a bag of Sun Chips.

“Hey Joe.  Can you talk and eat?” I asked him.  He appeared to be on the verge of saying yes when Gardenhire comes from the other side of the clubhouse.

“Hey can’t we just let the man eat!” Gardenhire bellowed as he essentially chased me away.  On the way out I quickly set up to talk with Joe after the game.  In hindsight I think this would all make for a good Sun Chips commercial.

Anyway, I did end up speaking with Joe, his brother Jake (the Fort Myers manager) and Pirates outfielder Garrett Jones, who was a teammate of Mauers with the 2003 Miracle.  What ensued is as follows.

THE 2003 MIRACLE

“Awesome teammate,” said Pirates outfielder and former Twins farmhand Garrett Jones of Mauer.  “An unbelievable athlete.  We would joke around and play basketball and go bowling and you name it he was good at it.  He is a natural at everything he does.”

Joe Mauer hit .335 in 62 games with the Miracle in 2003.  He was one of 12 players on that team that would eventually make it to the Major Leagues.  Mauer was, of course, the most high profile having been a first round pick.  That ’03 season was Mauer’s second full year as a pro and only his third overall. 

“It’s a process,” Mauer said.  “I’ve had some great coaches to prepare me heading into pro baseball but the blinders kind of came off in instructional league and things like that.  I was able to go to big league camp when I was 18 years old and learned a lot of things and just tried to keep my ears open.”

Among the other members of that Miracle team were Jones, Jason Kubel, Jose Morales, J.D. Durbin, Jesse Crain and Pat Neshak — all eventual Major Leaguers.  The team got off to an outstanding start and finished 73-63 overall.

“It helps with your confidence and knowing you can hit the pro level,” Jones said.  “Just to build off that and improve each level you move up and get better every year.”

And as always, the best and worst part of the league according to both guys…travel, or lack thereof, and the heat.  Some answers just never change regardless of who you speak with.

“I remember how hot it was,” Mauer said.  “It’s just that Florida state heat.  It’s definitely a good league.  You’re going to see a lot of talent in this league.”

“It’s Florida and it’s the summer time and in the seventh inning you’ve got a lot of humidity and you’re sweating your butt off,” Jones said.  “You try to eat as much as you can but there’s a lot of good restaurants in Florida to try to keep the weight on.”

MY BROTHER AND ME

But Mauer had something on his side to help him through the rigors of the FSL.  The catcher started his professional career with his big brother on the same team.  Jake Mauer, four years Joe’s elder, hit .279 in 109 games for Fort Myers in 2003.  He reached Double-A in 2005 but his career was cut short due to injury.

“It was great,” Joe said.  “My oldest brother is four years older than I am so we never really played together until that point.  Spending more time with him for a year and a half in the minor leagues was great.”

The two have crossed paths again since, with Joe playing on rehab stints in the Gulf Coast League and now in Fort Myers, were Jake has been the manager.

“You know he was a pleasure to have down in the Gulf Coast League,” Jake said.  “Joe never does anything different.  It’s a little thing but we take batting practice with our helmets.  A lot of big league guys that come down don’t do that.  He says ‘well everybody else is doing it so I’ll do it.’ It helps drive the point home to these young kids that here’s a guy in the big leagues and he’s doing the same things you guys are doing.  We’re not just doing it.  We’re doing it for a purpose.”

But Joe’s rehab stints don’t come without strings attached. 

“I told him I better be catching and hitting third,” Joe said with a laugh.  “I was.  So it was good.”

“Maybe I’m not going to play you today,” Jake responded smiling.

DON’T PLAY IN THE POOL

On a side note, we also found out that Garrett Jones and Joe Mauer were roommates in the minors.  Jones didn’t really have any inside dirt on the catcher but he did realize he owes him money. 

“I actually broke the basketball hoop in his swimming pool,” Jones said.  “But he thought it was pretty funny when I did it.”

Till next time,

Joel

Happy Birthday Marty! My Mascot History

With today being Marty the Marauder’s birthday I thought I would take some time to reminisce the world of mascoting.  DISCLAIMER:  If you think mascots are real stop reading.  I promise Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny are in fact real but my mascot history will be unmasked below.

So here’s how it goes.  When I was in high school I worked for a baseball team in New Jersey called the Somerset Patriots.  They had a dog mascot at the time, still do, but they’ve since added a cat…to which I’m allergic.  But in high school I of course was looking for a little extra spending cash for, you know, all the dates I went on, and thought maybe stepping inside a mascot suit would be fun.  So I auditioned to be SPARKEE.  He’s named for Sparky Lyle, the team’s longtime manager and former member of the Bronx Zoo.  Low and behold, I got the gig to be SPARKEE out at community appearances. 

Now a couple of things right off the bat.  Mascot suits are hot.  Mascot suits can smell.  The Patriots actually have several SPARKEE suits that get washed I believe after every wear, so it wasn’t nearly as bad, BUT…the heads don’t get washed.  They get Fabreezed.  I’ve had enough ‘linen sent’ for a lifetime.  Finally, mascot heads are heavy.

See SPARKEE had something of a lopsided head.  Being a dog, it had a snout in the front and the head always wanted to pull you forward.  This was difficult to combat. It was also hard because I have a small head and the helmet inside the mask was big.  I had to wrap by head in a beach towel so the thing wouldn’t fall off.  Always fun when the towel fell into my eyes and blinded the big furry friend.  What am I going to do to fix it?  Reach my furry paws inside my neck?  That’s like straight out of a Freddy Kruger movie.  You just had to kind of whip your head around a little bit and hope the towel moved.

One more thing about being a mascot…never tell somebody you’ve been a mascot.  It inevitably leads to you being a mascot somewhere else down the road.  One day when I worked at USF I told the marketing people I had previously been a mascot and if they were ever in a pinch I could fill in.  The next morning my phone rang.  The Associate Athletic Director was in a pinch and I was Rocky the Bull.  That was actually a fun one though.  I delivered a cake to Bright House Networks and their studios.  Thank goodness I put the cake on the table before running down the hallway, tripping and sliding head first the rest of the way.  It was also fun because I went to the appearance in character.  What’s better than stopping at a traffic light, turning to your left and seeing a giant bull sitting in the passenger seat of the car next to you?

There are, of course, some brilliant mascot memories.  In no particular order:

1 – Being “Big Mo” – The Salem Avalanche (now Red Sox) had a mascot back in the day named Big Mo.  He was an abominable snowman.  I was Big Mo for an afternoon back in 2008 at a Sheetz gas station.  I stood at the street corner with a sign that read “Game Tonight.”  I took some creative liberty and danced, walked out in traffic and then went into the convenience mart.  Once inside I messed with everybody.  I wagged my finger at the guy pursuing the adult magazines, angered the man who just wanted to get his coffee and then took some gummy worms to the register.  The lady rang me up.  I’m a mascot!  I don’t have any money!  I just turned out my pockets and walked away, without the worms of course.  We don’t need felonies on Big Mo’s rap sheet.

2 – SPARKEE’s Birthday – So back in Somerset SPARKEE’s birthday is always a big draw.  All the interns had to be mascots for the evening and I was Geoffrey the Giraffe from Toys ‘R’ Us.  This was my choice.  In hindsight it sucked.  Do you know how long a giraffe’s neck is in mascot form?  There was a fan inside though so that was sweet. But anyway let’s go back to the Patriots having multiple SPARKEE uniforms.  Each extra costume was worn that night as SPARKEE’s brother and sister and mother etc.  The role of his mother fell to our tallest intern Justin.  The suit did not fit him…but he wore it anyway.  The arms were tethered to his gloves by rubber bands and we hoped for the best.  And did we ever get it.  During the mascot race that night all of us are running down the right field line in a mob.  Justin falls.  His head, held on by the last bit of slack, falls off and tumbles feet away.  In front of the entire stadium, SPARKEE’s mother goes chasing her decapitated head.  Justin recovered and finished the race.  The moment, however, lives on in picture form.

3 – Blue’s Clues – We had a Blue’s night at the Patriots my intern year.  I was Blue the dog from the TV show.  It was awesome because I could talk.  You know, make the noises like Blue’s Clues.  Bah-bup!  Buh-Bap!  I think it’s spelled like that.  I made the newspaper with this picture too!

4 – Otto the Orange – So in college my roommate was Otto the Orange, the big lovable orange at Syracuse University.  This was cool because, well, I knew the fruit.  He would mess with our friends at games and one day during a broadcast picked up our extra headset and put it on his nose.  It made the play-by-play sound something like… “Harris to the near wing, passes to Michael….ruffle, ruffle, ruffle, ruffle, noise, noise, noise….and Otto the Orange has joined us tonight!”

What was really cool though was the night he brought Otto to our room.  I think it was a Friday.  No alcohol was involved.  We were just this ridiculous.  Well, Otto ran around the dorm that night.  Knocked on random doors to say hello and even went into the computer lab to do some homework.  It was a good time.  And now that we’re no longer in college we can’t get in trouble for saying that.

5 – When I interviewed the Famous Chicken.  Here – have a listen.

http://twaud.io/embed/r5mm

And by the way, mascoting is actually a very serious business.  It’s incredibly difficult to break into and even has its own Hall-of-Fame.  A lot of mascots have the gig as a full-time job.  An I’m probably banned from the profession for that pic of me not wearing a head.

Anyway…Happy Birthday Marty!  You big furry Pirate.

Till next time –

Joel